The Kind of Love I Want

Written by: Carla De Guzman/Monday, Feb 06, 2017 05:18 AM

Photos and Artwork by Carla de Guzman

There’s a scene in one of my favorite movies ever where a little girl casts a spell to find her one true love. She called the spell "amas vertias" and picked a white petal from a flower for every trait she wanted. He can flip pancakes in the air, have one green eye and one blue, that sort of thing.

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In the end, she finds him (of course), and they live happily ever after in a pretty house after the curse is broken. 

It’s easy to name traits when we’re talking about "The One." After all, out there in the void there is one person who was born for the sole purpose of falling in love with us and making us happy. But that’s the crazy part to me. Are we really expected to spend our lives searching for a person who may or may not exist? 

Or maybe I’m just cynical, because I’m already 26 and getting those looks from people asking if I’m dating someone, why I haven’t dated anyone. I’ve been asked: "Aren’t you tried of seeing people your age settling down when you haven’t?"

Short answer: No. I’m not there yet, and why should I feel anything but happy for my friends who have chosen to settle down? 

I’m starting to feel like one of those heroines in the romance novels I write, just a little manic and desperate, looking for love and just waiting for a guy to bump into me at a mall or compliment me on my buffet strategy. Maybe I need to cast my own amas vertitas spell. 

My friends always ask me if I write romance novels because I’m projecting. In a way, maybe I am, because who doesn’t want a sexy veterinarian waiting for you to fall in love with him? Or an awkward but sweet pianist dying for you to make the choice to be with him? My books aren’t meant to be completely real, which is why I enjoy writing romance so much. You can always rely on the guy to fall in love with the girl and vice versa. One of them will always pull through, and they will always have a happy ending. (There’s a whole other discussion on what really classifies as a romance book, but that’s a different topic altogether.)

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If you read my books, you get an idea of the kind of love I think I want. I want a love where I am an equal to my partner, where we share ideas and work, and try to balance his needs and wants to mine.

Does that make the person my soul mate? Maybe, maybe not. 

But the kind of love I want is a love that can last. One that can get through things and not be broken by "irreconcilable differences." A love that is not just for now, but for ever after.

If there’s anything reading all these romance books has taught me, it is that I can find it. 

Next Article: Falling for Love and Gravity: Sam Sotto Talks About Coffee, Inspiration, and Isaac Newton

Tell us about the kind of love you want in the comments below, or tag us on social media @LifestyleNetworkTV.

 

About Carla De Guzman
Carla de Guzman is the author of self-published books Cities, Marry Me Charlotte B! and We Go Together. She loves to travel, coming home to her dog Kimchi and spending her weekends having dinner with her crazy family by day. By night, she’s writer and an artist, spending her midnights at her desk. Follow her on Instagram (@somemidnights) for more!
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