Single Mom Stereotypes We Have To Stop Saying

Written by: Carla De Guzman/Saturday, May 06, 2017 05:45 AM

While the origin stories of solo parent families may not always be ideal, it doesn’t make their families any less awesome. 

There’s a lot going against them, with stigmas branded on them before the kids are born. It’s become a hot button topic in Manila recently, with the Philippines still holding a high number of children born to unmarried mothers. It’s a worrying fact, raising questions about sex education and reproductive health. But it doesn’t make solo parenting any easier. 

It’s time we stop putting these mommies in a box. They are way too amazing to be buried by stereotypes and unsolicited advice. 

Single moms got what they deserve. 

 

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Never, ever judge a woman for having a child without a husband or a father. Circumstances are always different, and there is not one reason why you should force your beliefs and ideas on them. In truth, they rarely get what they actually deserve—your support, love and care. 

 

Single moms are easy, desperate and are just looking for a father for their kids. 

 

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Just making the choice to date someone can be difficult, as their priority would be their children first. They’re too busy juggling work and their home life to obsessively think about dating anyone else. Have you seen Maid in Manhattan? Jennifer Lopez did everything she could not to fall in love, if only for the sake of her kid. 

 

Single moms and families are always sad. 

 

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Totally untrue. A lot of families with solo parents find love and support where they need it, and aren’t afraid to show the world how happy they are. When they are able to make it work, they show it. Life is hard, but there’s no reason for them to mope around about it. 

 

Single moms are bad at parenting.

 

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See that kid who can’t seem to do as well as the others? They must be living in a single parent household. Not only is this kind of thinking judgemental, it’s dangerous for the child to hear, thinking that there’s a fundamental reason why they can’t seem to perform as well as the other kids. 

At the end of the day, the lives of other families are not for us to judge. What solo parents need most from the people around them is love, support and respect, the same kind of attitude that you would expect from them. Let’s break down these old stereotypes! 

 

Celebrate Mothers with us this month--whatever brand of motherhood it may be. #MomMeOnLN

 

About Carla De Guzman
Carla de Guzman is the author of self-published books Cities, Marry Me Charlotte B! and We Go Together. She loves to travel, coming home to her dog Kimchi and spending her weekends having dinner with her crazy family by day. By night, she’s writer and an artist, spending her midnights at her desk. Follow her on Instagram (@somemidnights) for more!
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