This is For the Days You Find it Hard to Love Yourself

Written by: Shin Kitane/Thursday, Apr 12, 2018 07:31 AM

Hey, you.

In case you feel horrible today, let this remind you that things will get better. You might feel bad about your body, your looks, or even about something you did. It’s going to be okay. I can’t tell you how, exactly, but hang in there—please.


A day or two from now, things will get good. I know darkness hits, and it sucks when it does, but I promise you that there will also be light. There will be sunshine. One day you will wake up, thankful for the sound of birds chirping outside your window, or the sound of a train passing by. You’ll get up and realize you’re thankful you stuck with you a little while longer.

You’d think today’s the worst of the worst; today you’d like to end it all. Today you’d like to give up on that new “lifestyle change” program you went on to practice self-love, but hang in there. You’re worth it. You’re worth it, and you mean the world to someone. To other people. To the people you smiled at the other day. To the kids you gave Christmas gifts to last season. To your aging mother who is waiting for you to visit. To your significant other, who never fails to see the best in you, who calls even the ugliest parts of you adorable.

When you’re alone, you zoom in on your flaws—your nose, which you think is a weird shape. Your chest, too big/small for your liking; your skin color, not quite the right shade. Your ten stretch marks on each butt cheek that you will to go away each day. You’ve heard it said before, and I’ll repeat it—it isn’t easy, but what if you saw yourself the way you see your friends? What if you lit up with joy each time you saw yourself in the mirror, the way you greet a dear old friend, instead of “Oh no, not you again!” What if you built up yourself the way you comfort your friends when they’re down? If you gave yourself gifts the way you give to your family and friends on their birthdays? What if, for a change, you tried to focus on you?



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You might think it’s selfish—I used to think that way, too. Until I slowly felt the light fading out. Until all I had were tick boxes about why I wasn’t happy with myself just yet, why I still wanted to change this and that. Until I realized that really, the most selfish thing in the world is to think that people give a damn about you enough to pick apart every little detail about your being. They don’t.

In fact, I only found myself able to give when I spend enough time trying to be a friend to myself. To try and encourage the girl in the mirror even when I think her pores are huge. To try and appreciate her the same way I appreciate how my friends look great with their different body types—even when I think this particular girl in the mirror looks too puffy today. Some days I convince myself—that everything is a process. Self-love, fitness, positivity.

And I know it isn’t easy—some days its hard to do that too, you know. To be a friend when all you want to do is tear yourself apart. But I guess that’s what the good days are for—to remind you that no matter how dark things get, there will always be hope at the end of it all. No matter how small.


About Shin Kitane
Shin Kitane writes to remember and believes that words have the power to heal, inspire, and move others. She dreams of a world where men and women are treated equally, where race, gender, and religion are not measures of one's worth in society. She is also a book-hoarder and a firm believer in re-watching Mean Girls and Harry Potter multiple times a year. Follow her misadventures @shinkitane on social media.

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